The Agent on Homophobia, Meme Culture, and Millie Bobby Brown

Millie’s face in this scene looks like mine when I heard the news.
Source: Hello Giggles

It’s not often that I wake up first thing in the morning and know EXACTLY what I’m going to talk about this week… I just wish I didn’t HAVE to.

For those that don’t follow celebrity happenings, Millie Bobby Brown, the young actress best known for playing Eleven on Stranger Things, was bullied off of Twitter yesterday because of memes circulating around the web using pictures of her and spouting off homophobic rhetoric. This was especially damaging to her since she is well known for being a powerful supporter of the LGBT+ community.

… I have SEVERAL complaints.

First, I want to address my attitude towards people leaving social media over bullying. Normally, I reprimand people for doing this as it shows the opposition that they can get whatever they want if they’re dickish enough. But, in this instance, I think Millie may have made the right choice. The sort of harassment that she’s experiencing right now is especially damaging when you’re as young as she is. So removing herself from that environment, at least until the meme runs it’s lifespan out, was probably the best choice she could have made.

That brings me to the culture of memes in general. Let’s not beat around the bush here; memes are the LOWEST form of entertainment. Any brain dead schmuck with a pirated copy of Photoshop can parrot the same unfunny garbage as 5 million other people and call themselves an artist. The only reason these things gain traction is just for that reason; they cater to and are (mostly) produced by the lowest common denominator. As such, the ‘insights’ they share will almost always be the same sort mouth-breathing troglodyte thinking that seems to have been dominating the landscape lately.

Which is exactly why THIS unfunny hack job we’re talking about now is centered around homophobia. It seems pretty obvious that one blinkering jackass who enjoys the smell of their own beer farts thought it would be hilarious to make an anti-gay meme during Pride Month of all times and centered around a young person that has supported the community for a long time because they lack the number of functioning brain cells – most likely having died through multiple college benders – to understand how comedic juxtaposition is SUPPOSED to work (Or at least I HOPE that’s the explanation because the alternative is that they were ACTUALLY hoping this would destroy the LGBT+ community… somehow…). You need a punchline in order for a ‘joke’ to exist. So where is it here? Where’s the goddamn joke?

I know it sounds like I’m just angry and fuming right now, but I actually am that upset. Stuff like this – people that think that being offensive just to get a rise out of people qualifies as comedy and probably claims that “Mel Brooks could have gotten away with it” while failing to understand that even he had the common decency to not make light of lynching when he made Blazing Saddles– has been going on for far too long.

The sad part is that you can’t just ‘get rid’ of thinking like this. there’s always going to be some colossal, cretinous clod-hopper who thinks insults and threats of violence alone with no real comedic exaggeration are the height of humor. But we CAN make it clear to them that they have crossed a line. We can shame and abandon such ignorant people and leave them to rot in obscurity and their own intolerance.

On the unlikely chance that Millie sees this, know that you did nothing wrong. You’re just an unfortunate victim of cruel, uneducated sub-humans. I hope that someday, you’ll come back to us fully healed and ready to make us smile again. Until then, we’ll wait for you.

As for the rest of you, congratulations; you attacked a harmless community on their day of recognition, earned the ire and hate of the world, and made a 14-year-old girl cry. Your parents must be beaming with pride.

Why “The Dress” Bothers Me (And Why It Should Bother You)

Seriously, this whole thing is a load of crap.
Source: Just Jared Jr.

By now, I’m sure most of you have either seen or at least heard of the infamous dress color debate that started on Tumblr and quickly spread throughout the internet like a plague.

A lot of people are already hating this new meme and I count myself among them. However, I’m willing to bet that I despise this inescapable fury for a different reason than most.

There are plenty of theories as to why people aren’t agreeing to the color of the dress. The most popular theory claims that it’s an optical illusion involving the light that the photo was taken in. But many others claim other explanations from varying monitors to simple trolling.

But all of these theories don’t touch on the reason I never want to hear about this monstrosity again. What’s more, my hatred stems further than just hearing about it too much. Instead, I hate what it represents.

I hate this dress because it demonstrates just how easy it is to polarize people and turn them against one another.

Instead of finding a rational explanation to what is admittedly a very petty issue, I watched people engage in verbal combat with one another over the shade, tone, and hue of a rather (in my humble opinion) unimpressive body covering.

What’s worse is that, while people were arguing about this like five-year olds on the playground, the company that makes the dress took advantage of it; boasting a huge jump in sales and most likely laughing maniacally at us all the way to the bank.

And that’s to say nothing about the time lost in productivity from complaining and debating such a useless thing. Think about the things you could have done with the collective time people spent on this crap. I could be out having the time of my life right now. But instead, I’m writing about this because this is apparently what everyone wants to talk about (I exaggerate, of course, but it’s still stupid).

Sadly, it is as it always was. We’ve always been quick to debate anything that offends our senses or ideologies. That’s why political debates run as hot as they do – too many people looking to defend their thoughts rather than seek an acceptable and logical answer that can satisfy us all.

It’s the painful truth and I know it; It’s just not nice to be reminded of it.

So, can we lay this thing to rest now and move on with our lives already? I have a lot of happy things planned in the coming weeks and I don’t want the failings of the human psyche weighing me down.